Besides the actual and factual definitions of Domestic Violence, I spent time looking a bit deeper at what it really involves. I came to a conclusion that Domestic violence is a dangerous rife that affects your body and your mind through hurt, fear, and anxiety. Domestic violence is so devastating that it destroys life. It destroyed mine for years. I remember feeling threatened by my ex-husband even after being physically far away from him. Although I moved into a different continent, I was still scared of him. The thoughts of him paralyzed me to the point that I imagined him in every street corner I walked into. One day on the train, I saw someone who didn’t look like him but had something that reminded me of him. I turned away and quietly waited for the train doors to open and I ran. I ran without looking back, I ran for miles, I ran so fast that I was out of breath and couldn’t feel my legs anymore. I went and hid in a public bathroom and sat there for hours until I convinced myself that it was not him. Episodes like this were not uncommon. I lived in fear for such a long time that it became normal. I got diagnosed with all types of disorders, my blood pressure was so high that doctors wondered how come I was still on my feet; no medication could bring my pressure down. I lost weight, and I lost my hair. I couldn’t sleep at night. Add anything negative and bad that you know to this.
He didn’t have to be present. He was controlling me from a distant and I couldn’t understand why. Thanks to the word of God that enlightened me. The word of God declares in 2 Timothy 1: 7 “ For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” In other words, everything I experienced then, were not from God. God wants me to be at peace. Although I received this revelation, I still did not know how to change my life but I knew right there that I had to do something to inherit this good news. So, if the situation I was in was not from God, it had to come from the deceiver and sure enough it was God’s word saying in John 10:10 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly”. The enemy’s plan is to destroy. It doesn’t matter if you did something good or bad. Destruction is the goal and he has developed many arenas to achieve that. In the domain of Domestic Violence, he operates by controlling the abuser. He possesses him and bombards him with violent actions, mean, hurtful languages and skeptical attitude… Domestic violence is the plethora of wrongdoing orchestrated by an evil spirit through the hands and/or mouth of a possessed human being which is why, often times you won’t recognized the man you fall in love with. Sometimes right after he beats you up, he’ll come back at you with a completely different attitude. I remember asking my ex-husbands during the “non-violent episodes” the why, they both pretty much said the same thing. Some of their answers began like this: “I don’t know what got into me, I don’t understand” or “it’s your fault, you provoked me”, another one was: “you always do those things that upset me” moreover, “you didn’t obey”. It was always my fault. And it made more sense when I analyzed what God says in 2 Corinthians 10:4 “The weapons of our warfare are not carnal” and in Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places”. Don’t think your abuser will change so easily, he cannot do so on his own, he is possessed, he needs deliverance and healing to stop hurting you. Take the situation you’re in seriously and find a way to stop it before it is too late. Specialists define the characteristics of an abuser as Narcissistic, Borderline, Anti-Social, Histrionic, etc.. If you are not a Christian and don’t understand my reasoning, I urge you to not throw this away, give it some thoughts, and pay close attention if you are still in an abusive relationship. If you’ve been set free, please consider this and challenge yourself to forgive him.