THIS IS WHAT I SHARED AT MY GRADUATION.
Not too long ago, I was destined to die, walking around with 190 blood pressure for 18 months.
Not too long ago, I was depressed and oppressed, lost my identity because the weight of shame, guilt and accusations was too heavy for me to bare.
Not too long ago, I was lost without any guidelines, I lived for almost 2 decades as a victim how could I possibly remember something else?
Not too long ago, I couldn’t sleep at night or through the night. The night was my enemy. When the busyness of the day went away, the night brought the unbearable silence, the buried memories and the scary reality. I was trapped from everywhere.
Not too long ago, I was not living, I was barely surviving. Literally making it hour after hour, day by day.
Not too long ago I was a prisoner of unforgiveness, secretly elaborating perfect plans for my revenge.
Not too long ago, I lived in constant fear and terror. Couldn’t function, unable to move freely, couldn’t take public transportation, certain smell triggering certain emotions and causing panic attacks. There were darkness everywhere. As a result of this trauma I just hated MEN
Not too long ago, certain touches made me live the abuse again, reminding me of the violation of my being
Not too long ago, I didn’t like myself. Always pointed at what was wrong in me, cursed my body and hated the ME.
Not too long ago I was just a victim, trapped in a miserable life. I envied every strong women who had a successful stories.
Not too long ago, I needed to be loved, I wanted it so bad that I begged for it. How can you beg for love? Think about it? I literarily traded everything I had for love. At some point I even believe that he abused me because he cared, because he loved me, otherwise he would have left me alone. So that treatment was ok, I thought it was love
Today: I am healthy, uplifting and confident.
Today: I have a plan for my tomorrow. I sleep like a baby at night and through the night, and sometimes through my alarm clock. I am FREE!
Today: I am living, and enjoying every second. Proclaiming and knowing that my best days are yet to come
Today: I walk in forgiveness. Free, I released myself and my abusers
Today: I am in control, triggers don’t paralyze me anymore, I can dissociate myself from the past and the trauma
Today: Old things are gone, and all things are new
Today: I like what Alida does, I love the new me and find myself intelligent and irresistibly beautiful.
Today: I am a survivor, a leader a thirsty advocate, who make a difference in people live
Today: I give love, I am so filled with the love of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Finally, I walk in love, I became love. There is so much in giving that in receiving! No MEN can surprise me or lie to me because I found the ultimate love.
Not too long ago was three years (3) ago. With the help of my lord and savior Jesus Christ who healed me and restored me, With the love of my children, and family, the assistance of my mentor and Pastor; Dr. Alexis Levry and my family in Christ (the LCGP).
With the intervention of organizations such as Sanctuary for Families With the help of all the great people who encouraged me and trusted in me, I am who I am today. Though it was a difficult and challenging process, it was worthy. Anyway what is three years (3) compare to eternity?